...thats the theme of the day
*RANT ALERT*
Well I am back to work...well I was technically back yesterday. but whatevs. And immediately as soon as (redundant) I returned I was filled with the motivation to actively try to get out. For good. Forever. And never come back.My body - physically and mentally - can not take this place and schedule anymore. Plus I just flat out need more money. So hopefully the motivation continues and I find time to actually look for new jobs. I can't really do it here at work thanks to Nosey McGee sitting near me. So thats that.
I need my motivation to carry over into being productive with organizing my life. What "Organizing My Life" entails: cleaning my room, laundry, working on my iTunes, making new playlists, stealing pictures from people off Facebook to have on my computer, moving all my pictures over to my hard drive, reading another book, watching The Room, go walking, going food shopping, buying new jeans, saving money, getting an actual full nights rest, finding a new job, exploring the city more, getting a new computer, calling my car insurance company about lowering my rates...you know things that if all completed would make my life a lot less stressful. So maybe one day in life all this shit will be taken care of.
This is why I need more hours in a day. Yes, sleep is awesome. Which is why I choose that over staying up and organizing my life. The days I work both jobs - if you take away work, sleep, and travel time - I get about 2 hours of free time before I make myself go to bed in order to get only 6 hours of sleep. 2 fucking hours. And that is usually spent showering, watching the Phillies, catching up with Lisa, and checking things online. By the time I do all that it's past 11 and I need to get to bed. There have been days I'm in bed before 10 because I'm so f'ing tired from my ridiculously long day. So when the hell am I supposed to do things I enjoy? Because when I do get free time, I'm either wanting a beer or being pressured into having a beer and I think to myself "you've been working a lot lately. you should go have a beer. you'll go crazy if you don't enjoy life at least a little" So instead of sitting at home doing things I want to be doing, I go out and try to actually be social and live my life so I don't alienate friends and then I come home, go to bed and do it all over again. And people wonder why I never try to make plans. Because I know by the time the plans come either I'll be too tired or it'll be the only time I have free and will want to spend it other ways.
So I won't get out of this rut til I change my schedule and I can't change my schedule until I get a new job and I can't get a new job until I have time to look for one and I won't have time to look for one until I change my schedule. I'm Fucked.
I just made a post of exactly what I avoid making posts about. My bad yo.
Have a great day ya'll.
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1 comment:
Well if you need any help getting any of that ish accomplished I can help...not sure how much I can help...but it never hurts to have people there to either push you along or get ish organized
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